Weird and Wacky Holiday Stock Art

Ah, the joys of perusing holiday stock art. Endless catalogs of festive trees, sparkling stars, and jolly old St. Nicks. But occasionally, you’ll come across some things that leave you wondering just how much egg nog the artist or photographer had imbibed beforehand. That might explain some of the following bizarre images. Enjoy, and if you can improve on any of my captions, please share your own in the comments!


All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. And a nose, mouth, and arms.


Frosty the Hitman


Have a Holly Jolly Roger Christmas



It’s not the gift, it’s the thought that counts.


 Santa, during his brief stint as drummer for the Clash 


 Naughty children get a Santa CHOP!


Every year, Pierre wished for a body for Christmas…


There was tension on Christmas Eve when Mrs. Bates and Norman’s new girlfriend showed up wearing the same outfit. 


Behold the optimized gift-giving workflow of Christmas 2.0 

Solving once and for all the age old riddle of which came first, the Kringle or the egg?


Leave nothing to chance this Christmas with military-grade anti-fruitcake protective gear.


Jane wished so hard for that lump of coal to turn into a diamond that it did! And she went blind.


Zat you, Sauna Claus?



Know who’s drunk at the office Christmas party? THIS GUY!


Uncle Lou rarely wore hats, except for his favorite Santa cap. 

Finally found the perfect card for my dear old pal, First_Name Last_Name


A tragic example of selfie destruction



We wish you a merry cthulhumas, we wish you a merry cthulhumas…


 Holiday tip: don’t spike the egg nog with LSD.


Forget the milk and cookies! Santa wants Babaganoush this year!


No one could unwrap a gift faster than Marcie.


Moo-ry Christmas!

Posted on: December 13, 2013

Mike Rankin

Mike is the Editor in Chief of, InDesign Magazine, and He is also the author of several video training series, including Font Management Essential Training, InDesign FX, and InDesign CC: Interactive Document Fundamentals.

4 Comments on Weird and Wacky Holiday Stock Art

  1. Get wanted to let you know how much I love CreativePro and Indesign Secrets. It has been invaluable for my work. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Mary

  2. Thanks Mary! Happy Holidays to you too!

  3. Hasn’t there been enough gun deaths in this country without YOU promoting GUNS FOR THE HOLIDAY!

  4. Hi Mel-

    I’m not promoting guns or violence at all. I’m just observing how bizarre it is that these images even exist and that someone would even create them or pay for them.

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