I don’t think there’s a standard so far as determining kerning pairs.
I admit that while I dislike Quark at this stage of my career, I used to use it before InDesign. Quark had a nice feature where you could edit the kerning pairs, so you could increase or decrease the kerning values.
Like David, I usually use Metric for body text, and optical for display type. And have had luck fixing kerning pairs using optical kerning on them via search and replace.
For some fonts, the issue is not kerning pairs. It’s kerning “triples.” There is one font (I can’t remember which), but I loathe it. If you have a period followed by a space and a capital T or a captial A, there is almost zero space between the period and the cap letter. It looks like it was set up tight. But if it’s a cap W or a cap B or something, it looks fine.
I think I mentioned in another thread about the problems with some of those triple combinations with Adobe Garamond Pro, Minion Pro, and Caslon Pro. I had to write macros to fix those.