Sometimes I play a mental game I like to call “If I Ran the _____. (IIRT)” Perhaps you are familiar with it? Usually I am inspired to play IIRT when a visit to a retail establishment or dealings with a company doesn’t go as well I had wished. I played the game after I had been to the Post Office to mail a handful of expensive Valentine’s Day cards. I had gone to the Post Office because I wanted to buy a stamp with a suitable design to go with the cards.
Silly me!
It turns out there are no special Valentine’s Day stamps and there are only two that come close: a “Love” stamp that has more of an urban geometric look than a romantic one and a stamp with two heart-shaped candies and “I heart you” text sprawled across the candy tops. I opted for the candy stamps even though they looked like something more suitable for a young teenage girl than a 40+ adult female. It was either that or the ubiquitous spray of flowers stamp that’s been around for years.
I was happy to discover while I was there that I’m not the only person who plays IIRT. The friendly and kind counter worker, an employee of the U.S. Postal Service, sighed heavily when I asked for the “special” Valentine’s Day stamp. She must be getting that request a lot these days. “We don’t have anything special,” she said. Tilting her head back and squinting a bit, she said to the air (and to her boss standing nearby), “You’d think that such a big organization like the Post Office could come up with something a little special for holidays.”
I don’t know what the clerk or her boss would do if they ran the Post Office, but one of the first things I would do is commission the design of really beautiful stamps. I would make these stamps larger and grander than normal stamps — and I would charge a small premium for them beyond the basic postal fee. They would be printed and issued about a month ahead of major holidays. They’d be available for only a few months and might never reappear at all — or perhaps the design would change by the time the next holiday rolled around on the calendar. I would make a limited number of them and when they were gone, they’d be out of stock. I’d make enough to get people interested and supply anticipated demand, but the day after the holidays the stamps would be withdrawn.
The next thing I would do is commission even prettier stamps for use on printed materials that herald major life events — such as birth announcements, wedding invitations (with a special stamp for reply cards), anniversaries, and so forth. I can see it now — a 50th wedding anniversary stamp with a classic embossed design that features gold (real gold) ink.
I might even figure out a way to get a scratch-and-sniff scent into some stamps: pine for the holidays, roses for Valentine’s Day and baby powder for birth announcements. The possibilities are endless; think of it — a special postcard stamp with a beach scene or an iridescent beach ball that smells like suntan lotion…a birthday stamp that smells like cake…
There has to be a way, too, to allow people to order custom-made postage stamps or limited edition stamps. Or, to create a stamp that only one company can use — printed with the corporate logo and in accurate corporate colors. Imagine Coca-Cola red or a Hershey’s Chocolate brown on the stamps the companies use to mail out their annual reports.
I like playing this mental game because it’s easy — easy to see what’s not working and imagine how a few changes could make a big difference. I try to play the game with my own business, but I usually don’t have as much fun. It’s important to try and usually a rousing game of IIRT is enough to get me thinking about my company.
I suggest that you take up the sport of IIRT if you don’t already play on a regular basis. For the novices, I offer a few of the rules to help you make the most of your playtime.
First rule of IIRT: communal points of irritation disclose business opportunities.
Start your cerebral play by looking for points of irritation. In today’s game I was annoyed that there was no distinctive stamp for my costly cards. The postal clerk’s reaction told me I wasn’t the only one.
Second rule of IIRT: find interesting and fun ways to soothe the hurt and everybody wins.
The clerk would have been proud to show me the 2005 Valentine’s Day stamp offerings. I would have been happy to shell out a few extra nickels or dimes for a stamp that helped convey the sentiments inside the envelope. Both of us would have had a reason to smile.
Third rule of IIRT: don’t let fear bury inspiration.
Once you start playing the game, you’ll come up with plenty of ideas — unless you start telling yourself there’s no way you could make them happen or make money. It’s not fun to imagine new products or services if you’re responsible for paying the bills. It’s much easier to imagine how things could go wrong than believing things will go well. If I really were the Postmaster General, I might worry that people might sue claiming they had an allergic reaction to a scratch-and-sniff scent. Dismiss your fears while you play IIRT. You haven’t changed anything yet. There will be plenty of time for unreasonable and reasonable caution later.
Playing IIRT is an important and enjoyable mental exercise. It can help you improve your business whether you own a big company or you’re a solo operator. Let your mind wander; take your creativity for a stroll. If you find letting go difficult, take a trip to the busiest post office in town and wait in line for a while. That gets a good game of IIRT going in my head every time.
This article was last modified on June 17, 2023
This article was first published on February 10, 2005
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