Hi all!
Thanks for the input! And my apologies for the slow response — I read everything but couldn’t come back to this for while due to a deadline. And David, yes, that is the article I was remembering!!!
BUT — it turns out the entire premise behind my question was wrong, hah. I misunderstood something about the Glyphs panel. I thought each glyph that was shown was an entirely different character. I didn’t realize that an alternate character is still the same character. I figured it out because I was doing Find-and-Replace on the apostrophes and kept mixing things up the find and replace fields. It seemed like the exact same find-and-replace would do opposite things. I finally found the apostrophe that looked right to me and selected it and said “new character style.” Here’s the character style I needed:

I did NOT realize you could call the alternate selection for a character like that!
And now that I know that, I’ll use a GREP style. :) I’ll base all the styles in this font off a base that includes that. :) I already have that based on a base style (per someone’s helpful class one time). Now I just need an additional base for the styles that use the font that has an ugly apostrophe in it.
Am I the only one who didn’t know that the alternates for the same character work like this?
Thanks, Phyllis