Hello Kathy,
did you have a look on the InDesign long documents formation by Mike Rankin on Lynda.com :
https://www.lynda.com/InCopy-tutorials/Creating-Long-Documents-InDesign-CC/179050-2.html
it covers your topic. In a word:
– make a book not a big document (easier to manage, you just have to remember to open your document from the Book window)
– use a TOC linked/created from the style sheet of your document. Styles are KEY in InDesign, they’ll allow you everything…
for styles follow this formation :
https://www.lynda.com/InDesign-CS3-tutorials/one-on-one-style-sheets/585-2.html
Hope this helps.