Heavy Metal Madness: Seeing Pink Elephants

Gene Gable

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Every Drinker Needs Accessories
I’m not exactly sure when drinking accessories became popular, but during the ’50s and ’60s it wasn’t unusual to find gag gifts for your favorite drinker at the local novelty shop. I can remember my father getting and laughing hysterically at some of these items, all of them were funny due to some sort of humiliation or embarrassment. I thought of them at the time as a little odd, much like the special Christmas cartons of cigarettes, complete with festive wrapping, that my grandmother would give to my mother. I suppose it’s no different than the birthday bong my nephew is hoping for this year, but somehow drug or alcohol accessories don’t seem to be a worthwhile theme for gift giving these days.

Figure 12: Drinkers of distinction needed a fair amount of accessories in 1964, like this inflatable elbow cushion from the H. Fishlove Novelty Company.

Figure 13: In this 1966 Boozemood Indicator, the drinker could determine their level of inebriation simply by touching the glass bulb. Clearly not admissible as defense in drunk-driving court.

Figure 14: There’s nothing funnier than a drunk falling off a bar stool, so why not a joke safety belt? According to the instructions included with this device, “the management in most saloons takes a dim view of finding their bar stools in the men’s room, so when you feel the urge, remember to unhook the clasps.”

Drunk, Drunker, Drunkest
According to “The Dictionary of American Slang,” there are more synonyms for the word “drunk” than any other word in the English language (last count a minimum of 353). Apparently our own Ben Franklin was the first to compile a list of them — he came up with 228 in 1737, including such chestnuts as oiled, lubricated, cock-eyed, mellow, soaked, buzzed, stiff, stewed to the gills, jagged, pigeon-eyed, limber, fuzzled, cherry-merry, top heavy, glaized, moon-eyed and nimptopsical.

Figure 15: Stealing olives from martinis was a popular pastime — hence these special rubber gloves suited for the task. Date unknown, but long before the current martini resurgence.

As you may imagine, many of the synonyms for drunk have origins in England. The word “drunk” itself dates back to 15th century England and is the short version of drunken. “Inebriated” is also from the English, though it’s origins are from the Latin ebrius, or e (out) plus bria (wine jar) — literally “having emptied out the wine jar.” Other English terms: intoxicated, (Latin toxicum, poison), soused, boozy, blind drunk, high as a kite, jolly, and tiddly.

Figure 16: According to this 1950s cooking apron, after 20 highballs, all women look beautiful.

Americans easily kept up with the Brits, however, and are credited with such illustrative terms as polluted, gassed, having a snoot full, juiced, potted, buried, crocked, busted, swacked, sloshed, clobbered, hooted, plastered, zonked, lit, pixilated, swizzled, loaded, corked, petrified, blotto, shellacked, looped, paralyzed, tight, damaged, primed, bombed, shit faced, and feeling no pain.

Figure 17: After a few glasses of bubbly and a cigarette, the phone inevitably comes off the hook and foolish things happen, as demonstrated in this 1957 album cover.

Not all drinking takes place on one night as part of a party celebration. Some unfortunates end up going on a drinking spree, and a number of terms have been coined to describe such binges. You can go on a bender, on a bat, on a toot, on a jag, a booze fight, or simply on a drunk. Watch out, though, for the pink elephants.

Figure 18: It was always cocktail hour back in the era when work actually ended at 5 pm.

Figure 19: A good shot of booze became known as an “eye opener”, as illustrated in these 1950s shot glasses.

Have we Learned Our Lesson Yet?
By the time Alcoholic Anonymous was formed in 1934, it had been clear for many decades that not all drinking was fun and games. In the 1890s many drinkers were encouraged to “take the cure,” and give up the evil fluid. And of course America’s Prohibition proved that not everyone in this country was in a party mood.

Figures 20 and 21: We took their land, killed most of them off, introduced them to alcohol, then made fun of their drinking. Pretty funny, huh?

Today we still have hard liquor ads on TV, in magazines, and on billboards. And despite minor mentions by liquor producers of adhering to sensible limits, we’re still presenting alcohol use as fun, sexy, and hip. Only we don’t typically portray drunks as a happy lot, unless it’s a sitcom, and then there is always a consequence, or at least a bad headache the next morning.

I doubt it will be very long before the pink elephants come back in vogue, only this time, there will probably be a designated driver elephant that abstains from drinking and remains a pale shade of grey. And of course these pink elephants will be available at your local toy store in the form of action figures and trading cards.

Read more by Gene Gable.

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