Confessions of a Color Consultant
As part of the work I do consulting on color management, I have my web site listed, linked and mirrored in about a half-dozen locations on the Web. Like everyone with a web site, I am challenged to keep mine up-to-date (it isn’t quite) and to maintain a fresh appearance with new materials and regular updates of information.
One of the features of my web site allows people to sign a guestbook and send a message to me from the Web. An easy addition to the site, this contact area opens a form with a place for optional name and email entry and a space for comments.
I get messages from strangers and friends alike, and almost all of them are complimentary or contain simple questions: Where do I find a monitor calibrating instrument? Where do I go to find out about color management resources in my area? Where can I take a class on color management?
I’m also asked astonishing questions. For example, a fellow in France needed to know the color of Burgundy.
“What is the exact color of Burgundy?” he asked. It seems he is involved in a legal dispute over a blend of wine, and needed some spectral information on the “legal” color of burgundy. I suggested that he send me cases of the finest French Burgundies and I would consider his question over a period of months.
I also get phone calls occasionally. My wife answered recently and chatted with a man who wanted to talk to me about colorblindness. She explained that I work in the graphic arts industry and with color, but that I am not an expert on colorblindness. He thanked her and went elsewhere.
Basking in a Neon Glow
A young man in Florida wanted to know the color of blue neon.
He had been cited by a Florida State trooper for having a neon license plate bracket that the officer asserted violated that state’s laws on “safety colors.” In Florida only law enforcement officers can have lights on their cars that are blue-green in color.
The young man asked how he could prove his case in court. I suggested that he take the neon off his car and pay the fine. I recommended that he not push the State of Florida on an issue like this. But, I had more to learn on the subject.
In a subsequent message I learned that the young man is not only the recipient of a citation, but also the manufacturer of neon lighting accessories for cars. He makes and sells neon license plate brackets (among other items) to motorists, and was concerned that his customers might also be violating the law with his blue neon brackets.
The second time I took his query more seriously. I recommended two things: one, determine if the state has a spectral definition of their “safety colors” and two, measure his own products with a spectral instrument to ensure that they don’t infringe.
I am not sure what has happened since, but I hope that he is doing well in his car accessory business. He’s a nice fellow with an interesting problem.
Call Me Mellow Jell-O
Two elementary school girls needed to know the color of yellow Jell-O.
Two fifth graders wrote that they were working on a science project to determine whether hot liquids dissolve faster than cool liquids. They were using yellow powdered Jell-O dessert as the concentrate for their discoveries. Though I never got an answer from them, I sent them information on chemical colorants and how they might be measured with a spectral instrument. I thought it would be fun to hear about their project.
One youngster wrote looking for donations of colored paper. This was his message:
“I am a kid and I need some free color paper right now for tomorrow for a project.”
I couldn¹t help him. I have to buy colored paper for the science fair projects created in my household, and don’t have any leftovers at present. I don’t know if this was a hoax or if the “kid” was serious. I am also not sure how I would have gotten the paper to the recipient overnight if I had it. I am not, alas, Federal Express.
I also get a lot of serious, probing questions, many of them pages long, asking about work flows and proper methods for moving images from one application to another successfully. I also receive more than a few questions about monitors and color temperatures and viewing environments. Some of these messages are in French and Spanish.
The problem is that I don’t have time to respond in any language to all the mail. I try, believe me, I try. But, I cannot forfeit the little sleep I get answering such emails to the degree that they deserve.
Real-time Color Management
What I do to respond to these questions is mark them in color in my email program. The red ones are “hot” and need nearly immediate action. The blue ones are for next Sunday morning, a time when I get up earlier than the rest of the household and try, try to answer a few of the blue ones.
Green labels indicate something I might be able to delegate, and I do my best to forward those to another more capable answerer.
Orange is for the nutty ones. These make up my humor category.
“We are two Australian college coeds. We love your web site. We love you, and want to know if you’ll marry us.”
This, my second marriage proposal, was not only off-the-wall, but involved something not in keeping with the traditional Internet family. The idea of TWO Australian college student-wives was intriguing, but made me laugh (and I am already married). This is a lifestyle I will have to enjoy in another lifetime, and on another network.
So, keep those cards and letters coming! I will continue to do my best to respond as quickly as I can to every message. I will continue to color-tag them and respond on Sunday mornings in the hours before my two Australian wives wake up and ask me to mow the lawn or fix the blender.
